How can I stop being resentful towards my mom for having me with my awful father and scarring my life?

February 17, 2012 by  
Filed under Common Questions

herbal skin remedy
by wallygrom

Question by usfreezemaiheart: How can I stop being resentful towards my mom for having me with my awful father and scarring my life?
She had me when she was (still) poor and when she was in her 40’s and with a sociopath dude. I try to look past it…but I get resentful at times…
As a kid she would yell at me nearly daily for things that were out of my control (ex. money problems, being overweight, not being married, being older, etc.). Even when I was tormented for three years in 6th, 7th, and 8th grade for my bad looks/dress and I cried to her about wanting to look normal…she just complained about how she looked…and when I visited a childhood friend for instance, afterwards she would be like, “she is sooo exotic and gorgeous.” and then tell me that I was (pretty much) the opposite. Now I have horrible self-image…even when she gained weight and needed to go on diets she would say, “WE need to diet.” although I’m size 00. I always think how fat and ugly I am…
Also…the rest of my family is blonde…but i’m brunette and the color looks awful on me so I have to bleach my hair a bit lighter (my dad had dark hair sooo)
My mom gave me strange motos as a kid such as, “marry a rich man.” and would tell me how awful men were (such as my father) and stuff…so I still have trust issues because of that.
As a kid she made me visit my father who wouldn’t even let me have stuffed animals and was in solitary confinement for many years etc…
I wanted to play sports, but she forced me to learn guitar…I appreciate it now…but I still wish I had been allowed to do sports instead.
She always had weird people in my life…and forced me to hang out with her friends…like some stalker lady etc.
I did all the house work…as a kid she scared me into doing it by telling me that if I didn’t clean the house that the neighbours would call child services and I would be placed in an orphanage and abused.
Anyways…what brought this up again is that i am almost 19 and finally out of the house…but my acne from when i was 13 is still horrible and my mom always refused taking me to the dermatologist because HER acne as a kid cleared up at around 16/17/18 (it always seemed to change as I grew older)…She doesn’t know about my father/his families skin…I always wonder if his family had awful skin…
Anyways…sometimes I get flash backs and stuff and feel fat and ugly…I know I have distorted self image although the acne is apparent…my boyfriend’s mom points it out before giving me herbal remedies *sigh*
Sorry for the length and for this being more of a rant…
but seriously…How can I get over this stuff? I still haven’t found a way to do it…Thanks ^^

Best answer:

Answer by Fashion911
you should see a counselor or move in with a friend and you also could try proactive:)) hope i helped:))

Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!


2 Responses to “How can I stop being resentful towards my mom for having me with my awful father and scarring my life?”
  1. keanaay says:

    Forgive her.
    She failed you, yes, but don’t spend the rest of your life thinking about it and letting it determine who you are.
    Let it go.
    Move on.
    Take care of yourself and stop expecting her to change and become the parent you want/need. Your past does not have to be your future.
    You can’t change her, but you can change you.

  2. Kevin says:

    see a counsellor or move hte fuck out anjd move in with a friend

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